where did the time go?

wow its the 18th already!I kind of have been busy!
I had my son Alex go off on holiday with his school friends, they went to Bayeaux in France.He only back last night and is back at school today.He seems to have enjoyed it, he wore practically the same underwear for 4 days and had a dirty pair of hands when he came home.He has since confessed to not washing his face with his face wipes and ever using soap.Luckily the teachers made them swim every day and shower so he was other than that reasonably clean.
I had a nice time when he was gone, it was so quiet I did miss the little sod, but went out for a curry and to see  bands 3 nights running so that was my entertainment.I havent been that well though really so have slept a fair bit(the diabetes been causing me trouble) .Now I am on some new tablets so fingers crossed they start to make me feel better.
I have been busy with my boble stripe blanket.It is getting so heavy, it is about 30 rows wide so far .I have taken a photo but cant seem to find what folder so cant share it at the minute.Also I am on doctor who doll number two so it is  keeping me busy plus the house has had a bit of a tidy up while little man wasnt here to mess it up.

alex and i at my friend cathys birthday meal..

my gorgeous daughter emma.. isn she growing into quite the young woman..

my latest crush david from bon jovi..what a nice smile he has.

saw this somewhere online and its given me inspiration for another new project.

Saturday /sunday and start of another month.....June..

I have been waiting and waiting for this month to arrive cos it means my good friend Debs is here from Perth,Australia, although I wont be seeing her for a few weeks..she is in the same country as me..:)
Today now I have my son back we went for a walk this morning and again this evening.Luckily my part of Essex has lots of nice country walks and parks nearby.It has been a glorious day Beautiful sunshine and warmth..how much I have missed it!
Last night I had a bad diabetic hypo (blood sugar.got too low) so I woke feeling a bit rough .I had done some of my dancing  game on the Wii.It went too low and then too high cos I got a bit panicky and overcompensated with a big  sugary drink. This morning ,my food shopping arrived and so I had that to put away.Luckily my son helped.I missed him while he was away and back comes the mess and the work, but I am liking it,even if its exhausting.
I am carrying on with the crochet and in the middle of the bubble blanket and doctor  who number two.Photos will have to be another time.
Back to normal tomorrow, school and getting up early for the school bus.Lets hope its dry tomorrow.

Day 31, Friday: A vivid memory

my vivid memory is of the day when I was about 8 and I was with my sisters and family and we were at southend. I had climbed to the top of the cliff at Westcliffe where the gardens were.My sister told me to let go of this bush i was hanging onto and so I rolled, knocking into her so she rolled and we rolled and rolled and almost rolled into the road..we tore our clothes and were shook up and got told off badly.

Day 30, Thursday: React to this term: Letting Go

,letting go....The past few years has seen me doing a lot of this.
I seem to have had to let go of a lot of things in my life.I have let go the dream of being forever married to the person I met and fell in love with and thought I would live happy ever after with.I have let go of the idea that he would want to be with me and would fight to keep my love.
I have had to let go of my dream of being a family unit,my son now spends every other weekend with me and my daughter has moved out and is independent.
I have let go of my dream to be able to support myself, and work or get paid for what i do.
I have let go of the idea of being fit and able to walk as far and do what I want to do.
All of these things I have let go in order to move on.Life has to get better or god must have a different plan for me..but letting go hurts and is hard and I am still doing it every day that i live.I have to do this in order not to be bitter and angry and depressed.

Day 29, Wednesday: Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories. Use Grooveshark or YouTube to include them in the post

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3oHUdhb_hI
always and forever by heatwave..this is the song I danced to with my husband on my wedding day.The words really meant something to me. I always want to cry when I hear it now.
ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4NZYHxgpog
donny osmond The twelve of never.... this is the song that made me fall for donny osmond. I still love him all these  years later. lovely words and he is gorgeous.I guess I am still looking for my man to love me until the twelve of never.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdu8VOWk3pg
this reminds me of myself when I was about 16.I was into ska and punk and new wave and loved this track.The words mean a lot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Lra_5PDR00
genesis..Follow you follow me.    I love this song its one of my favourites...reminds me of being in love and the music is just pure joy to hear.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvBAu0PJ7A8
Mike Oldfield .....Tubular bells....could listen to this for hours. brings back many memories.

Day 28, Tuesday: Only pictures

a doctor

me

i love my nails painted

my doctors i am making

a cover for my sons bed

a revamped poufee

cold february

a scarf

my lovely daughter.

Day 27, Monday: A letter to your readers
dear readers
do I have any?is there anyone following my blog?
I am enjoying the blog every day in May challenge are you enjoying reading about it.
I consider myself a  tolerant person but today has been just hard.
My son has gone to spend a week on holiday with his dad and his dads woman friend. that he lives with.
Yes thats right.. I had to wave goodbye to my lovely boy knowing he would be spending the week with the bitch with the loose knickers, the steal-er of other women s husbands and the woman who my son hates because she stole his dad away from him(his words) and he hates her.
Now it has been a few years since we divorced but it still hurts to see him with someone else, sat in the car where I should be sat and spending time with my little fella.
I am not too proud to say I waved him off then went inside and cried, and I mean howled until I felt sick to my stomach.It doesn't seem to get any easier, and knowing alex would rather spend time with me just plain hurts.
But I have to remind myself we split for a reason, and how awful life was when he was dividing his time between the two of us.
poor son is caught in the middle trying to please both of us, and me wondering just how is it I can be replaced so easily.It didnt help when ex hubby rang and he has been talking to him about me and taken something completely out the context it was said.
 I felt like saying look I hate you as you ruined my life so don't try to talk to me.
Sigh and now I am worrying that son will be stressing out about everything he says.
Its too much pressure to put on a boy, specially one with special needs.
His aspergers side means he takes everything literally so that is a joy to live with (not).
Anyway my son has his friend to keep him company and i am missing him.a lot.
Mind you I managed to clean the house today, cut the grass and start on more of the  bobble blanket,,the repetitive stitch is the only thing to keep me sane and not scream with how awful I am feeling right now yet trying to present a normal front to the world.
Anyway a loaf of granary bread is cooking in the bread maker and tomorrow I shall be off to spend some time with my sister in the hope that if I  keep busy I shan't constantly worry what is going on and harp back to thinking that my whole life has been stolen by that cow, she has my hubby, my kids and i have nothing left of my old life.
Got to look forward readers, I really must and no looking back. I have to take today as just a bad day and draw a line under it, cos otherwise I will hit another downward spiral of emotions and then I shall struggle to get out of it.I have my dear cat to keep my company and so it has to be goodnight,